Artist : FRANK ZAPPA
Album : Uncle Meat
FZ: Bizarre!
Suzy: Bizarre . . . ha ha!
No-one could ever understand our bizarre relationship because I was your intellectual frigid housekeeper.
Especially when you'd be going to bed with one chick at night and I wake up in the morning and find another one there, screaming at me . . . ha ha . . . Asked me what the fuck that chick was doing in your bed and I'd walk in and you weren't with the same one you were in the night before.
Oh, I'll never forget that, as long as I live.
That house, well it had your shit all over . . . and we had a cat and we had fleas and we had lots of crabs that we proceeded to give to everyone in Laurel Canyon except for Elmer and Phil, because they were too sick to ball . . . ha ha . . . Elmer has a mentality of approximately One Peanut. Possibly.
As a matter of fact, I can remember Elmer telling me that you really had a lot of talent, but he didn't see how anyone could ever make it that insisted on saying FUCK on stage.
And he used to drive by in his gold Cadillac and peer in the window . . . ha ha . . . 'Cause he never could get over the amount of groupie status that, that you had and he didn't. Possibly because he's 50 years old and wretched . . .
FZ: HA HA HA!

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Artist : FRANK ZAPPA
Album : Uncle Meat
[includes Uncle Meat]

Heh heh heh . . . GrrrRRRNNHH . . .

Suzy: The first thing that attracted me to Mothers music was the fact that they played for twenty minutes and everybody was hissing and booing and falling off the dance floor . . . And Elmer was yelling at them to get off stage and turn down their amplifiers

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Artist : FRANK ZAPPA
Album : Uncle Meat
Ah! I know the perfect thing to accompany this man's trumpet.
None other than
The mighty and majestic Albert Hall pipe organ!

Right!

You understand that you won't be able to hear the organ once we turn the amplifiers up
Awright, Don?
Whip it on 'em!
"Louie Louie"!
They like it loud too, you know?

Let's hear again for the London Philharmonic Orchestra!

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Artist : FRANK ZAPPA
Album : Uncle Meat
It's the middle of the night
And your mommy & your daddy are sleeping
It's the middle of the night
And your mommy & your daddy are sleeping
SLEEPING
MOM & DAD ARE SLEEPING
SLEEPING IN A JAR . . . (the jar is under the bed)

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Artist : FRANK ZAPPA
Album : Uncle Meat
[includes Exercise #4]


Ya ya ya ya ya
ahhhahahhhhhhhh
Ya ya ya ya ya
ahhhahahhhhhhhh
Fuzzy dice & bongos
FUZZY DICE
I got 'em
At the Pep Boys . . . at the BOYYYYYYYYS
Fuzzy Dice & bongos
Brodie knob & spinners
Chromium plated
Ha Ha Ha

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Artist : FRANK ZAPPA
Album : Uncle Meat
Ow ow ow ow
Rundee rundee rundee
Dinny wop wop
Ow ow ow ow
Rundee rundee rundee
Dinny wop wop

Electric Aunt Jemima
Goddess of Love
Khaki Maple Buckwheats
Frizzle on the stove
Queen of my heart
Please hear my plea
Electric Aunt Jemima
Cook a bunch for me

Tried to find a reason
Not to quit my job
Beat me till I'm hungry
Found a punk to rob
Love me Aunt Jemima
Love me now & ever more
(Love me Aunt Jemima)

Dit-dit-dit-dit dit-dit-dit-dit
Dit-dit-dit-dit ditty-ditty
Dit-dit-dit-dit dit-dit-dit-dit
Dit-dit-dit-dit ditty-ditty
Dit-dit-dit-dit dit-dit-dit-dit
Dit-dit-dit-dit ditty-ditty
Dit-dit-dit-dit dit-dit-dit-dit dit . . .

Tried to find a raisin
Brownies in the basin
Monza by the street light
Aunt Jemima all night
Holiday & salad days
And days of mouldy mayonnaise
Caress me (ah!)
Caress me (ah!)
Caress me Aunt Jemima
Caress me (ah!)
Caress me Aunt Jemima
Caress me (ah!)
Caress me Aunt Jemima
Caress me (ah!)
Caress me Aunt Jemima
Caress me (ah!)
Caress me Aunt Jemima

Mmm, boy, my lips are gettin' heavy
I can't tell when you're telling the truth . . .
I'm not.
How do I know anything you've said to me is . . .
You don't.

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Artist : FRANK ZAPPA
Album : Uncle Meat
Ayyy! Yee-hah!

Here's one with your father's moustache, your old cookie jar, rubbers, sneakers, galoshes, belt buckles, and book covers with the name of your high school neatly imprinted in crimson and gold on the front with a picture of the goal post and last year's queen.

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Artist : FRANK ZAPPA
Album : Uncle Meat
(Irving Berlin)

God Bless America
Land that I love
Stand beside her,
And guide her,
Through the night
With the light from Above
Yeah!

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Artist : FRANK ZAPPA
Album : Uncle Meat
Uncle Meat
Ahead Of Their Time
Zappa In New York
You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 4
You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 5
The Yellow Shark

Fade!

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Artist : FRANK ZAPPA
Album : Uncle Meat
Ian: My name is Ian Underwood and I am the straight member of the group
(Ha ha ha!)
Suzy: Wowie Zowie!
Ian: One month ago I heard The Mothers of Invention at the theater. I heard them on two occasions, and on the second occasion I went up to Jim Black and I said, "I like your music, and I'd like to come down and play with you." Two days later I came up to the recording session, and Frank Zappa was sitting in the control room. I walked up and said, "How'd you do, my name is Ian Underwood and I like your music and I'd like to play with your group." Frank Zappa says, "What can you do that's fantastic?" I said, "I can play alto saxophone and piano." He said, "All right, whip it out."

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